9.03.2007

Holding Hands

For the last five years this little hand has rested inside of mine. I waited for nine months to feel those fingers curl around my finger. I held tight as she learned to stand and walk and I learned to grab tight as she tried to run away in stores and parking lots. I have held her hand as we skipped and sang in the rain and as her little toes felt the first waves of the ocean. Holding that little hand has become a part of my life.

DSC06302

Last Friday I let go of that little hand and watched my Annie board the bus for her first day of Kindergarden. It was very difficult for me to let her go. She has been my consant companion for so long. She did go to preschool, but there I was able to walk into her classroom each day and see what she was up to. I could talk to the teachers every morning. I didn't have to let go of her hand quite so soon. Kindergarden is whole different game. She will ride the bus and all I get to know of her day is what she chooses to tell me.

First day of school

When you have a baby everyone tells you how quickly the days will go, wow, are they right. Thankfully kindergarden here is only half a day and I can still sit and have lunch with my little girl each day. I will so miss having her as my companion. She never left me with a dull moment and challenged every ounce of patience I had but in that I grew to be a better mother, wife and friend. I hope that I held her hand enough and that as we held hands and chatted she learned the important things, be respectful, be a kind person, a good friend and enjoy every moment of your life. I can't wait to watch her learn and grow as the year goes by and I am so glad I have Maddie's little hand to hold onto even tighter.
Happy back to school.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! I have tears! I love the pictures and her skirt and book bag are soooooo cute.

Steve said...

Mary its so hard to let them grow up, Maverick's first day went better than I thought it would go but it was hard none the less. We feel your pain.

Jane said...

I remember walking away from the school in tears for both my girls. Time does fly much to fast and now they are 11 and 20 and the eldest is off to University, another step towards independance. (it still isn't any easier when she goes away)

ALF said...

she is so cute!

Unknown said...

You survived that first awful wrench, marytree, well done, it's a powerful moment and you have written beautifully about it. It's true: you blink and that hand is nestling in yours, you blink again and that hand is steering the handlebars of the racing bike as he cycles down the road to school, aged 16. Enjoy every precious moment with your lovely girls :)

Anonymous said...

Now it's me! I know what you are saying about our little companions. All we can do is be proud and know we did the best job we have been able to do. I know you have been the best mom to those girls and I look to you for inspiration. I am excited for you and Annie and Maddie as they experience the world, I hope we get to enjoy a little together along the way.

Amy said...

oh mary! that nearly made me cry! what a great way to express such a hard moment for you, and a wonderful moment for her! it made me think of my 3 year old and how soon, she'll be "leaving" me too. I feel the same way about the companionship, where I be without it?

Anonymous said...

Wish I could be out there more but this site helps.

Monster Librarian said...

Wow Annie is a cutie! That was a really sweet reflection. You just wondering these things and talking about how special she is to you has to have been imparted to your daughter, and I am sure she will be a wonderful person because of your love.

My best friend just watched her first born, also a daughter start Kindergarten. I have heard from her the same thing-time flies and kids grow so quick! Thanks for sharing this story!

Unknown said...

It's so true...that time does seem to just slip by. My youngest is now 10, and I do my best to enjoy them as much as I possibly can while they still let me. Some days I'm outgrown by this little guy, other days we are like peers, and always I am a parent. I cherish each and every moment. It was so odd to me, I've dealt with kindergarten and high school, and the changes that occur between the two.

My kids still hold my hand, and even my grown son still comes home with a hug. It's a great feeling.

MJ said...

I haven't reached the kindergarten stage. I'm just glad that the first morning of preschool & daycare went well! I had similar feelings last year when K had her first year of preschool but I didn't experience them this year. Will have to wait to see what occurs next year!

Kevin Flick said...

i am crying! my baby just turned 1 a month ago and that was enough to send me into orbit. i want the years to slow down so badly!!! i didn't let go of her hand for school, but i have had to let go as she has become mobile, walking, and as we have slowly given up nursing. it's so hard! she's only 1!!!!! i totally understand. such a beautiful post!

crunchy peas said...

My heart aches with bittersweetness- I can identify with you so much. Way to articulate what so many of us mamas are feeling. If only we could freeze little moments in time and live in them for a while. Such a cute skirt- adorable bag and especially precious daughter!

Missy said...

Oh my, that brought tears to my eyes. Just wait until Maddie goes to school, then you know they grew to fast. I can only imagine when Jenna is old enough to get on that bus Thank God I have 4 years to wait, I'll be a wreck. I can't believe Annie is in school now and I also can't believe how much she looks like her daddy now, sorry Mary but I've only seen you once to compare, lol.
Missy

ifax said...

Ok. I have a confession to make. I'm a thirteen-year-old kid. It's not much of a confession, but I thought that for this comment it was best I reveal myself as a kid. Annie may be really happy to go to kindergarten this year, but in a couple years, she may not like leaving summer behind to go to school. That's when she'll discover how much of a privilege summer is. When I first went off to kindergarten, I was so happy to be going to school for the first time. But a couple years later, I hated leaving summer behind to go to school. But no worries. What I've predicted probably won't come true for a couple years. And I'm sure Annie will have a great time this year at school. One last thing: If your public elementary school is for grades K-5, Annie will enjoy seeing Maddy in school with her in a couple years. I enjoyed seeing my brother with me in school when the time came.

Anonymous said...

cool blog

glitglitglam.blogspot.com

Kristin said...

Time flies faster every year they get older. My oldest is turning 21 next month and although I was there for all of it(except the last year) I still can't believe it! He lives over 1000 miles away and I have seen him twice since July 2006 and I can't believe that all that time has past and that he is a man now. It is a weird feeling.

inkybrigs said...

once again its 5 on friday afternoon and I find myself smiling, wiping a tear at your little heartwarming story. its good to know there are real people out there. thanks for sharing your stories with us.

Anonymous said...

beautiful writing! and nice blog!