Mama Says Om: Forgive

6.29.2006

I had been tossing around the idea of forgiveness all week, trying to hit the mama says om theme. I am not one to carry a grudge, I get mad, I yell and then I make up with the person. But today I got this awful email from a "concerned neighbor" and I can't get mad and make up because it was sent with no name. But I thought maybe I should try to forgive this person anyway. Read on:


Are you planning on doing anything with your backyard? It is
an awful site to see. You have a tent with no cover that you sit under with just
the frame to eat dinner. You have a rainbow brite painted playset that is an eye
sore, you have toys all over the backyard (we all have kids and seem to be able
to pick up their toys and put them away each night), and you have a rusted out
smoker along the fence. This is a disgrace to our neighborhood and you should be
ashamed. Your backyard sticks out like a sore thumb when driving on . It looks like there should be a doublewide on that lot instead of a
home. Please take care of this.

Signed,
Concerned
Neighbors
Here is the said disgrace and the sore thumb playhouse.
backyard2
backofyard
playhouse
I did take down the tent frame after I got the email but that's about it.
So to my concerned neighbor I say to you...
I forgive you...
for being so petty and mean-spirited.
for ruining what had started as a beautiful day for my girls and I.
for making me cry and in turn making my 2 year old cry.
for not seeing beyond yourself and your world.
for choosing apperances over substance.
for not being able to find your inner child.
for being a coward.
for being a mother who thinks it's important to clean up the toys every night.
for thinking that painting a playhouse purple and not cleaning up toys is shameful.
for watching my family as we eat dinner in my backyard.
for buying in to the prefab, preprogrammed set of rules for taste.
for not doing something better with your time then opening up the email account uglybackyard@######.com.
but mostly I forgive you just because you are my neighboor and that's what I do, I forgive people because no matter what the act is it is not sum of the person. I have seen too many people lose a lifetime with the people they love because they were unable to forgive. I hope that I am never put in the situation where I would rather share a lonely evening with my grudge then a monday night with my family.
Happy forgiving and clean up those damn toys!

13 comments:

The Shape of a Mother said...

Dude, they suck! I think the playhouse looks beautiful and I vote that you should go buy a boxful of the ugliest toys at the nearest thrift store and just throw them all in your yard and leave then there. ;)

daisies said...

Right on sister!!! They dont even want to see my backyard. Life happens and sometimes its messy, so what. The mess will always be there to clean up so live for the moment. I think that your playhouse is beautiful.

AscenderRisesAbove said...

Unbelievable!!! It would really creep me out to recieve an email such as this; meaning that it was someone who I knew; someone who knew my email address; for feeling constantly like I was being watched - and judged; but most of all bullied; to suspect that this is not going to be the last of it. I see no eye-sore here. I hope that someone has a good idea on how to handle this.

SB said...

You go, girl. You are a fantastic mom and that purple playhouse is proof of that. Life is too precious to be so uptight!

Jenn said...

oh my! I would be so mad I would have put some old toilets and bathtubs in my back yard. Really made it look a sight. What a nerve! I think your back yard looks lovely.

jac said...

How absolutely frustrating and irritating. What a small minded person to write such a thing. You should have thrown a bright blue tarp over your tent frame and painted "STOP BEING SO NOSEY" on it.

Bella Sultane said...

Oh, for goodness sake! Obviously this person has nothing better to do than to manufacture problems.

How sad that it has become commonplace to attack anonymously rather than to sit down face-to-face and have honest conversations about one's concerns.

Shelley said...

Hey, let us know when the karma wheel spins around on this sad person!

Margery Niblock said...

Dear "marytree,"

I just came upon your site containing my framed picture of "Skipping Rope." What a thrill! I'm so glad you're enjoying it.

Then I read the awful e-mail from your neighbor. Unbelievable! After seeing your photos, I was completely OUTRAGED!

I'd be pleased to have such a lovely yard next door to me. I don't know where you live, but hopefully that neighbor will move soon.

Sincerely,
Margery Niblock

Upstairs Downstairs Amber said...

I hope you will also forgive her for being jealous of the good time you are having out there (that playhouse looks GREAT) and jealous of your capacity to enjoy life despite occasional toys that are not put away.

Alina said...

I can not believe that someone in your neighborhood took the time to write a nasty letter like that. When as far as I can see there was no reason for it. That person must just have a very sad life and is jealous. The yard looks great and I just looooooove that playhouse(colors are great) for 2 little girls.

naialily said...

This is the type of thing that makes me want to buy an island and have only happy people living on it with me. I don't know why people have such troubles minding their own business. You know, you could just as easily have been the one to instigate a letter, writing to your neighbor about your concerns that their backyard lacked love and light and joy, but you didn't, you minded your own business!! I think your yard is awesome and I'm so sorry you had to deal with someone so incredibly intrusive. If I ever have the funds to buy an island, I'll send you an invitation! :)

debra said...

omgoodness, I am shocked! What a completely creepy and unkind post your neighbor left. I am getting goosebumps just thinking about how creeped out I'd be if I got a post like that. All I can say is thank goodness she has never seen my back yard! I'm thinking I wish my back yard looked as neat as yours!! ;-)